Few of us can question the fact that there is a rise in depression, anxiety, and suicide among the young. The statistics are alarming. We have an entire generation growing up with lower self-esteem than previous generations. The other issue is that they are growing up in a world of Facebook and Instagram. We are good at putting filters on, showing that life is incredible, even if we are depressed. Now all our validation comes from the number of “likes” and followers. You have an addiction, and like all addictions, over time it will destroy relationships, cost time and money. The problem with addiction is that addicts know it’s harmful, but they are hooked and so they keep doing it. Many of us can admit that it’s unhealthy and that it might be an addiction.
We have to ask ourselves what are the costs of the benefits we get from technology. Interacting with social media and phones releases a substance called dopamine, which is why when you get a message you feel good. We count the “likes”, we check Instagram. Dopamine is the same substance that makes us feel good when we smoke, drink or gamble; it’s highly addictive. We have age restrictions on alcohol, smoking, and gambling, but not on social media and phones. This means giving kids access to an addictive substance like dopamine during the stress of adolescence.
What is happening is that we are allowing access to dopamine-producing devices. Many kids don’t know how to form deep relationships. They admit that many of their friendships are superficial. When they are stressed, instead of turning to a person, they turn to a device. Those who spend more time on Facebook suffer from depression more than those who spend less time. Alcohol isn’t bad, but too much alcohol is. There’s nothing wrong with social media and phones, it’s the imbalance that’s the problem.
If you are having dinner with a friend and you are texting someone else, you are addicted. This generation is growing up with low self-esteem and without coping mechanisms for stress. They live in a world of instant gratification, but satisfaction in work and deep relationships takes time. They need patience and to learn that some things take time.
We are seeing an increase in accidental deaths from overdoses and more kids leaving school due to depression. This is terrible. The best possible scenario is that they grow up never finding deep joy or satisfaction. This brings me to the point about the environment. These incredible kids are being put in corporate environments that care more about numbers than people. We shouldn’t have phones in conference rooms. Relationships are formed in the little moments, not during the events.
From the Lab to Real Life: Concrete Examples
Take Skinner’s famous rat experiment. When the rats pressed a lever and received food every time, they quickly learned the association. But, if the food was released at random, the rats pressed the lever obsessively, hoping to get that reward. This is exactly what happens with social media notifications: the reward is uncertain and this makes us even more attached.
Side Effects: When connection becomes disconnection
However, like any medicine taken in excessive doses becomes toxic, our addiction to digital dopamine also has a price. From the deterioration of interpersonal relationships to “digital burnout syndrome”, we are beginning to see cracks in our mental and social health. And it’s not just about time spent online, but about how that time affects our neurochemistry.
Mitigation Strategies: Navigating the Digital World with Awareness
The solution is not to disconnect completely – technology does, after all, have many benefits. However, a better understanding of our biology can help us navigate more consciously. For example, limiting notifications, using tools like “gray mode” that make the screen less attractive, or setting specific times of the day for disconnection, can help balance our biochemistry.
When you’re out for dinner with friends, leave your phone at home. We are like alcoholics. Ideas happen when our minds wander. We shouldn’t charge our phones next to our beds. We can’t ignore these factors. I’m not against social media, but against excessive use. The solution? You have to be present. You’re not present until someone tells you that you are. For example, meditation can help focus on one thing. You’re not present until your friend thanks you for listening.
